12.24.2009

いつだって My Santa [Review]

Since it's Christmas time at the Akira household, it usually means a lot of stuff going on. Namely cooking and cleaning. So while all of the festivities were going on I thought to myself it be a good oppurtunity to review a Christmas anime. "Itsudatte My Santa" or as the Americans know it, "Always My Santa." Lemme say a few things before I start the review. Holy shit, I've never seen the word Santa used so many times in one episode. Namely because 90% of the time Santa isn't part of the show but whatever. Another quirky thing about the show is that it's really fast paced. I have no idea why. Most likely since it's only 2 episodes long. How long could you stretch a story about a girl who randomly shows up on Christmas Eve claiming to be Santa Claus and wants to spend the night with an unfortunate soul. Wow, that was a mouthful.


Since the show is only 2 episodes long, I'm gonna go in-depth into each episode. It starts off with an unknown girl meeting an unknwon boy on Christmas Eve. Sound cliche yet? Don't worry it gets worse. So they start on their journey to make the boy happy. Now, this kid hates Christmas for a couple reasons. One being that he's always alone on the day and two...you know, I can't really believe the animators of this show did this, but...


Who in their right minds would name their child Santa. I don't even think they added that name to the baby-name registrar. It makes no sense. Why would you name your child after a fat old man who gives away presents once a year. I've been recently informed that Santa isn't the worst name you can give a child. "Yermom" has been confirmed as the funniest name I could have ever heard. Anyhow, back to the story. So the girl, we don't know her name at this point, wants to make Santa happy. How to make a teenage boy happy...Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hey, I wasn't thinking anything perverted! Get your minds out of the gutter. Geez.

So basically they go around town doing random things. Like randomly start a photo shoot. Or fight with the boss of a yakuza. Yeah...

After that's all done we cut back to Santa's house in which HE ALLOWED HER INTO HIS HOUSE. What the hell? She's a complete stranger. I wouldn't let anyone in my house that's completely empty even if it were a girl. And plus she used his shower? What the fuck? Of course we get a nudity scene, because this is japanese and with japs...we need at least one boob/panty shot. It's like madatory or something. we also find out her name is Mai. Santa Claus Mai.

So they have a nice long talk on how lonely Santa really is because he's a pathetic wimp. In order to cheer up Santa, Mai decides to make food and holds a party. Sure, I'll go along with that, but the next couple of minutes made no sense to me. For one, she gives him a kiss laced with all of her magic/happiness. Sure, whatever...I've seen worse plot points. Next he gets a call from the person he loves, so mai gets jealous and says she loves him. WHAT THE FUCK!? YOU ONLY MET LIKE 3 OR 4 HOURS AGO! HOW THE HELL!? How do you fall in love so quickly. This wasn't a love at first sight situation. /sigh. She runs away because Santa says he doesnt believe she's Santa Claus. Man I'm getting confused with all these Santa's running around.

He finds her shortly after she runs away and returns the kiss, in which she suddenly pulls a SAILOR MOON transformation and gets a bigger butt, bigger breasts, and possibly one of the skimpiest Santa outfits I've ever seen. Who was fapping off when they made this...?

So now that Mai has transformed into Santa Claus, it's time to hand out presents. During their trip Santa meets his parents and finds out their goals. He feels bad for being a sorry prick earlier and forgives them for never being home. And thats when the credits roll. Thank heaven...wait, there's something more at the end of this episode. OH NO! SHE'S BACK!!!!!!!!!! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF....well yeah I suppose. I did say it was a 2 episode OVA.

On to episode 2. It is now 6 months later somehow and we meet at the beach. They rehash the entire first 5 minutes of the 1st episode in which mai says something that can be interpreted as erotic and also gets taken away by the police. As well as the running away while crying thing they did in episode 1. They even rehashed the yakuza scene albeit a bit backwards. How many times are you gonna use the same joke geez. They introduce 2 new characters into the show. Sharry and Maimai. Sharry is some elitist in the school of becoming a Santa or something while Maimai is Mai's little sister.

Sharry has come from the land of the Santas to tell Mai to go back. Since Mai has Santa to worry about, she doesn't want to go back. In order to stay Sharry and Mai have to fight over who rules the area and for Christ's sake, no pun intended, they have the most retarded fight I could possibly imagine. Mai shouts out random things that start with 'san' while Sharry makes them real while yelling "GORGEUS!" Fuck, you dont know how annoying that gets. So Sharry loses because Mai yells out Sunhouse on the beach...Whatever.

The animators of the show try to throw in some drama by making the time Mai can spend with Santa extremely short. During this 'short' time Sharry tries her best to get Santa and Mai alone to talk, but fails miserably each time since Maimai like biting apparently. Even going so far as to bite on the ass.

Also, how the hell did summer and fall pass so quickly. It was like 2 minutes long. And then Christmas Eve is like another 15 minutes. How does 1 day take so long while 6 mnths takes so little...

They give us a bit of backstory to Sharry and Mai, but in the end who really cares. It makes no difference in the main story. It only explains as to why Sharry is helping Mai out so much. Especially for being such a whiny bitch half of the fucking show.

As time goes on, Mai finally meets up with Santa and tells him that she has to leave. He just responds, "Go." Er, wut...You're just telling her to leave? Strange...Oh~~ I see. He's going to wait for her for however long it takes. HOW CLICHE IS THAT!? /sigh. As time is running out, Sharry and Maimai somehow FREEZE TIME at 1 minute before 12. Sure, that makes sense. Santa Claus can freeze time. No wonder how he has all the time in the world to give presents to all the nice boys and girls.

What ensues after time restarts is one of the longest teleportation scenes I have ever seen in my entire life. WHY. WHY DOES IT TAKE A WHOLE 2-3 MINUTES TO TELEPORT HER TO THE NORTH POLE OR WHATEVER. And halfway through she pulls her Sailor Moon transformation again. and just leaves on her reindeer. That entire thing made no sense...

So we get the ED song and...another little clip at the end of the show. Apparently Mai wasn't the one who needed to leave, but Maimai which actually made more sense. It also undermined the whole drama of the night before...Wait...This episode has a preview at the end...So...its not over? Where the hell is episode 3? I think the animators were either trolling me or they never released it because episode 1 and 2 tanked.

So yeah thats the end of that show, thankfully. It wasn't bad, but it was extremely rushed considering it was only 2 episodes. The voice actors were talking so fast half the time, that it was hard even for me to understand 10% of the words coming out of their mouths. I dunno. Either way its worth a watch. It'll only take away like 1 hour of your life.

A last word before I go though. Happy Christmas, Merry Chanukah, Happy everybody, and Happy holidays. Thanks for reading. See you next time.

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