Final Fantasy VII: On a Way To a Smile Denzel [Review?]

So, as I was randomly going through my list of anime to watch, I noticed that I had accidentally downloaded a Blu-ray special that apparently came out on the FF7 Advent Children Blu-ray disc. Let me just start off by saying that this special, or OVA or whatever you want to call it, can go suck a sperm flavored popsicle because it is bad. Very bad to be frank. Why you might ask? Let me say it in as few words as possible. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT DENZEL. Seriously, he never even existed until they made Advent Children and that movie wasn't that great either. It was basically about 40 minutes of fighting and 50 minutes of lame talk with some chase scenes included because those are always fun to watch. Anyhow, back to this shit special. It sucks.

Denzel is some little cunt who has the geostigma disease and is picked up by Cloud randomly while visiting Aeris' church. It's shown in Advent Children, but in the special it's explained why he's there in the first place. I hate Denzel... I mean, he has no personality. It's like he can be replaced with a diseased brick and you'd get pretty much the same thing. This whole thing is centered around him wanting to enter some kind of WRO which isn't explained anywhere in the FF7 series. So the recruit makes him tell his life story in which I really don't give a fuck either. His parents die. His 'protector' dies. He meets some lady. She dies. He meets some other dude who saves him. That guy dies. He joins some group of kids. They all mysteriously disappear. He meets Cloud and basically ends this whole recollection. Thankfully...

The main problem I have with this piece of shit is the fact that they try to throw in new people that no one really gives a fuck about. Like:

and

or maybe even

WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY SHOULD I GIVE A SHIT IF THEY DIE?! Thankfully they all do die and we never hear from them again...except for the first guy... He's the recruit.

I will admit though, some parts of this pile of ass made me laugh. Like this part:

and

Kid... seriously? Poor people eat rats? Nice one.

There's not much else to say about this. I think I already pointed out its major failures. Oh wait, I forgot the most important pic!

Cloud's hairdo always did look weird with its one big spike in the middle, but this looks ridiculous. It looks like he went super-saiyan...